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About those quotes...
Quoting people was an idea that Emily (my partner for the first 3 zines) and I got from our now-retired English teacher, "Felix" Froehle. He always kept a "nerd book" on him to write down ideas, things he heard, and places to find information on things he liked. Emily and I kept nerd books and found ourselves aware of the many odd and funny one-liners and exchanges we overheard. The quotes have since become a favorite for "lime" readers. I have organized quotes here by issue. Requests for explanations of quotes can be submitted by # (the number in front of each quote) and will be posted at the bottom of the page.

Also please note: Emma, Emily, and Ema are the same person. Ari, Ariana and Olly are the same person. Carissa and Rissa are the same person. "Spock" has been changed to Nick; "Spock" was his nickname back then but we didn't know he didn't like it.

From issue 1:

1. "Take a shut-up pill." -Ariana (Olly)

2."He can't blow two hoots on that thing."- Chad

3. "I used to have this tall man. I'd ride down the steps on him."-Ariana

4."Did you fall into his arms continually or was it a one-time thing?"-Emily

5. "I used to carry my cats around in pillowcases. I think that's why they don't like me." -D.J.

6. "We're not going to use you for fondue." -Unknown, possibly Emily

7. "Libraries are not for kissing in." -Ariana

8. "Lots of people can tell us apart -- but not many." -Brenna

9. "Hear that sound? That's the sound of smart people thinking." -Brenna

10."It's just plain water till you pee in it."-Emily

11. "There's nothing to do when you're trapped in a vacancy." -John Bender

12. "If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun." -Katharine Hepburn

13. "One of the main purposes of blood is to make sure you don't bleed to death." -Mr. Wanvig, science teacher

14. "I don't think we can see our noses in front of our legs." -Ema

15. "Nobody heard a word he said. We were all watching his pants." -Guest speaker in English

16. "Light a match! Tom Waits is on!" -Carissa

17. "If hair was poisonous it wouldn't be on your head." -Emily

18. "You give it to your rabbit. (scarlet fever) -Ariana

19. "Hug a tree today, it will make you feel better tomorrow." -Emily

20. "I'm playing pocket pool." -Mark Ackman

21. "Look! The wise man has something up his butt!" -Amy

22. "I'm going to throw Corn Pops at my friends."-Ema

23. "That's because I've got too big of eyeball!" -Emily

24. "I'm sorry, I say as I walk out the door." -Emma

25. "Too much head isn't good."-Shamus

26. "Look how tall I am. I took Tall-Watchers." -Brenna

27. "Everybody's life has static." -Heathers (J.D.)

28. "Gene made the horse looking up the angel's dress." -Amy

29. "I've gotta eat money!" -Ariana

30. "We should just put morality aside and do what's right for once."-Unknown, from TV or a movie

31. "Shh-- don't look at the teddy bear." -Ema

32. "Go like this with your lips.... are they numb or alive?" -Emily

33. "You guys sober up for the picture." -Nita

34. "The balls are lopsided!" -Emily

35. Emily: "I need oxygen." Brenna: "Breathe then."

36. Emily:"I thought he left you." Carissa: "He did leave me but he came back."

37. "He made my ass laugh." -Tim

38. "Any kind of Pebbles is good." -Ian

39. "Your mind plays tricks on you -- you play tricks back." -Pee-Wee Herman

40. "We're just two lost soul swimmin' in a fishbowl... year after year." -Pink Floyd

41. "I thought. And I said words too." -Ariana

42. "Kelli's acid level is so high she could melt a brick wall." -Nick

43. "I'm not a teacher. I'm the Incredible Hulk." -Mr. Levin, math teacher

44. "There will always be boundaries, uh-huh!" -Mr. Hayden, math teacher

45. "Fissy awww gone!" -Unknown, probably Emily

46. "Why do they want to put germs in the milk?" -Ariana

47. "Duh! Stalagmites!" -Ariana

48. "My dad's a carpenter. I've got wood in my genes." -Chad

49. "Do you eat?" -written on a bus shelter

50. "I didn't hear what you said until I was walking away." -Ariana

51. "So at the end do you guys go around and count who has the most nards?" -Shirley

52. "I've been possessed most of the day...it's pretty cool."-Ariana

53. "How come I don't have any quotes in here?" -Erik

Issue 2

54. "If you were me, you'd understand why I don't understand." -Brenna

55. "My conscience mumbles a lot." -Olly

56. "I can see your brain working right now. It's brown." -Brenna

57. "There's a difference between lying and not telling the truth." -Olly

58. "Feel... the bajiggies." -Brenna

59. "It's like a big bathtub and you can't get out." -Brenna

60. "Perfect is when Barbie doesn't have any split ends." -Olly

61. "It's not purple -- it's lavender!" -The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

62. Ariana: "I just can't let my life end like this!" Michelle: "But you've got to!"

63. "There's no fuckin' reason I should settle for anything less than everything I want." -Sean

64. "Courtney Love got plastic surgery to look ugly." -Nick

65. "I'm going to be going down between your legs now." -Guy

66. "The Cable Guy? It was horrible! I saw it twice!" -Carissa

67. "You're a boob-nut. The 'boob' stands for boob." -Emily

68. "It smells good! Like a porta-potty!" -Brenna

69. "I have a funny bone in my finger. If you want you can feel it later." -Emily

70. "But I was so much older then; I'm younger than that now." -Bob Dylan

71. "Special favors come in 31 flavors; we're out of mints, pass the Life Savers. I'm dropping hints; candy for candy-coated tongue." -The Violent Femmes

72. "Why couldn't the little mermaid just get around in a wheelchair?" -Ivy

73. Emily:"I'm going to be a slutty girl." Ariana: "It'd be kind of hard for you to be a slutty boy!"

74. Ivy:"What is a soul exactly?" Liz:"It's something inside you that makes you poop."

75. "My dog has the best posture on the block." -Liz

76. "Who are you talking to? The pigeons?" -Brenna and Liz

77. Liz:"So are you and Clayton tight?" Tom:"Like frog pussy."

78. "If I was short, I'd just walk around giving people snakebites all day." -Tom

79. "You just slapped her right in her uterus." -Tom

80. "Just because it spills out of your evil head doesn't mean it's a quote." -Nick

81. "The past is a foreign country. They do things differently there." -Written on a 5-dollar bill

82. "Ladies do not start fights -- but they can finish them." -The Aristocats

83. "I'm all nipply!" -Guy

84. "It said 'hash' on the menu." -Ariana

85. "I'll do you both at the same time." -Guy

86. "Some are just so hard-- and some are SO HARD!" -Emily

87. "You know how you flirt in 7th grade -- you throw snowballs at them and hit them and be really mean to them." -Kelli

88. "Feels good all over more than anywhere else." -Banjo player

89. "Yeah, she's a big piece of lard." -Carissa

90. "Oh, Carissa. Look at this big banana." -Brenna

91. "What was I going to think, man? I had an idea!" -Brenna

92. Olly:"I'm not wearing any socks today." Emily:"Me neither! Let's go in the bathroom and have an orgy!"

93. "I have two cats and a dog. That's 12 feet right there." -Ms. Spano

94. "A dog could have an orgy all by itself!" -Ariana

95. "I don't see what's so magic about the center -- it's making my tongue hurt." -Emily

96. "You could have said something really cool, but nooo! 'He poops at the table.' " -Emily

97. "If she ate shit, she still wouldn't be vegan because it's an animal product." -Brenna

98. "It's like smoking a menthol that tastes like a porta-potty." -Brenna

99. "How am I supposed to know? I'm not the worm!" -Brenna

100. "I'm Hansel! I'm Hansel! I'm Hansel!"-Brenna

Issue 3

101. "The only hunting I do is with my car." -Sean

102. "I like sleeping in the pig pen. I like eating off dirty plates." -Ariana

103. "Let's go dig up some nightcrawlers and mudwrestle!" -Brenna

104. "My parents used to live in Houston. They used to tell me stories about foot-long cockroaches flying across the living room." -Lix

105. "You've got my thumbs of approval." -Liz

106. "Sounds like pluckin' a chicken." -Chad

107. "Will you trade a quarter for a nickel?" -Larry Paul

108. "Coincidences seem to happen all at once, don't they?" -Olly

109. "If I was E.T., I wouldn't want to ride a horse." -Ariana

110. "You can jump out of a pink closet and have your picture taken with the hedgehog -- or whatever the hell the state bird is." -Brenna

111. "Whenever somebody does this, it reminds me of my hot dog." -Ivy

112. "Hey Clayton -- you know your ass?" -Nick

113. "Come on, bikini-butt! Do what you do!" -Ivy

114. "You can tell what kind of person someone is by how eager they are to do the Macarena." -Radio DJ

115. Ari:"Why has my pillowcase a big rip in it?" Liz: "Because your head is so sharp."

116."There's a rat in the hallway! A rat as big as a mouse!" -Ingrid

117. "I'm wearin' my Unabomber glasses." -Guitar player

118. "Your breath smells like something's burning." -Olly

119. "Is that really his butt?" -Liz

120. "Get thee to a monkery." -Brenna

121. "Jesus could fry your poop." -Misinterpreted message from playing "telephone".

122. "I'm walking in your footprints faster than you are." -Emily

123. Ari:"Remember when I snapped my finger in the mousetrap?" Mom:"Yeah, that was so cute!"

124. "And could I take you out? I'd be yours without a doubt...on that Big Dipper." -Cracker

125. "It's suicide in installments." -Rebecca

126. "You're not going to be alive when you're 80." -Liz

127. "You've just got to get up and go, that's all." -Aunt Kathryn

128. "At least your mom dances -- mine just calls me up and bitches at me." -Joe

129. "Hey Sean -- I'll pop one of your ribs back into place if you pop one of my ribs back into place." -Ed

130. "Look at her hair! She's got whore hair!" -Ari

131. "You're not being paid to think, just do, damn it!" -Guy

132. "Be good for Santa, dammit!" -Brenna

Issue 4

133. "He couldn't figure out his own chicken." -Andy Richter

134. "I can hear my brain rotting right now!" -Brenna

135. "She has scoliosis all over her face." -Liz

136. "Don't write on the sidewalk with your hamburger!" -Erik

137. "I know a good way to make yourself drool." -Brenna

138. Ivy: "I want to dissect you." Brenna: "Go ahead, I don't have anything to live for."

139. "Who cares what psychiatrists write on walls?" -Brad Pitt in "12 Monkeys"

140. "I wanna be bloodsisters with my cat." -Brenna

141. "Smells like Chewbacca." -Liz

142. "Lick my business." -Tom

143. "It's not B.S., it's B.T.! Bull true!" -Brenna

144. "None of your Bill'sness." -Bill

145. "You have to do something weird with your gizzard." -Brenna

146. "It's Darth Vader's nerdy nephew!" -Sean

147. "Grow up, Heather. Bulimia is so '87." -Heathers

148. "Patience is a waste of time." -John

149. "A ninja turtle is realistic. A centaur is not." -Nick

150. "What good is being sober?" -Niku

151. "Did you hear what Brenna and I did with our gummibears? We bit the heads off and switched bodies." -Liz

152. "If she was standing here right now, I'd pour a gallon of gasoline on her and light her on fire." -Man on motorcycle

153. "It's exactly what you said, except different." -Brenna

154. "Losters finders, losers keepers! Losters finders, losers criers! Boo hoo!" -Brenna

155. "I wanna get this to suck you!" -Brenna

156. "Mary's little lambs are now raised by wolves..." -Leah Andrioni

157. Brenna: "I only want orange ones! I don't want any pink things! I don't want any purple chickens!" Ariana: "Purple chickens?!?"

158. "Liz finally gets to fuck the ladybug." -Brenna

159. "She's a Scooby-Doo Kate Moss! The kind with a mask!" -Liz

160. "And the birdies said, 'We are dominant Hitler birdies'." -Brenna

161. "This is like french-kissing a cat." -Brenna

162. "Noodles are very sexual creatures." -Brenna

163. "When a lady says no, she means GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY DICK!" -To Wong Foo

164. "We should take that lizard to Dr. Kevorkian." -Brenna

165. "If anyone sees us, we'll moon 'em and say it was a sorority prank." -Liz

166. Brenna: "I have a fat lip." Ariana: "Why do you have a fat lip?" Brenna: " 'Cause I ate too much."

167. "I'm on the 'C' honor roll." -Brenna

168. "Her foot's asleep; she's going to go take some pills." -John

169. "I could be a sex goddess... except for my big scar." -Brenna

170. "Sex is like pizza. Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good." -Threesome

171. "Gee, it's getting cold out! I'm going to have to start wearing my padded bra!" -Student on Bus

172. "I thought 'wack' meant bad." -Erik

173. "The world is a really sucky great place." -Sean

Issue 5

174. "I see a light at the end of the tunnel. Someone please tell me it's not a train." -Cracker

175. "It's a Fig-Newton of your imagination." -Brenna

176. "Why did the chicken cross the road? Because... he wanted to." -Girl on bus

176.5 "Let's dance to the sound of airplanes." -Brenna

177. "There's a lot of people who will try to put a sour taste in your mouth. And you can just open your window and spit it right back out at them." -Bus driver

178. Liz: I feel your pain. Ari: I don't have any pain. Liz: Then that's MY pain I feel.

179. "Fluorescent yellow is really pretty." -Brenna at age 7

180. "I feel like Helen Keller, except I'm not blind and I'm not deaf." -Elli

181. "Judging on the basis of my grades, smoking weed sounds like it's right up my alley." -Ivy

182. "Take your shirt off -- I want to see!" -Customer to bagger

183. "My tongue tastes like dead meat." -Brenna

184. Brenna: You know the space between the floor and the ceiling? Liz: You mean a room?

185. Ari: You smell like cigarettes. Liz: No, that's your shampoo.

186. "In 4th grade Vanessa Wade got in trouble for drawing a picture of a naked bear." -Liz

187. Ariana: I thought Mom and Brenna went to pick you up. Wait, no, they went to pick up the pizza. Pizza, you, what's the difference? Ivy: Are you saying I'm cheesy? Ariana: No, you're saucy. No, you're beefy. Ivy: Well, you're chunky! Ariana: Well, you're crusty! Ivy: Well, you're greasy!

188. "I called Jackie a stupid bitch and she took it all seriously." -Liz

189. At Scream 2: "I'm not even scared about the movie. I'm scared there's going to be a preview for Spice Girls." -Liz

190. "I'll lie down, and you can use my head for a pillow." -Brenna

191. "Now that I'm crying, I should ask for money." -Brenna

192. "Carmel (the cat) does less around here than I do. And she gets a bigger allowance too." -Brenna

193. "Go get your brain and show it to Ariana." -Mom

194. "What if your cat got rabies and started attacking you while you were peeing? Then what would you do?" -Liz

195. "I feel like a sick rock star." -Brenna

196. "The brain looks like a really cool piece of pasta." -Sean

197. "If I had a turkey for every time you quoted me, I'd eat free twice a year." -Sean

Issue 6

198. "You potty-dance choreographer!" -Brenna

199. "You were quite right in giving me the wrong answers." -Math teacher

200. "I can't wait to stay young." -Brenna

201. "I don't think you can recycle boogers." -Brenna

202. Liz: Your hair looks so pretty, Ariana. Ariana: Thanks, I brushed it.

203. "The majority of exposed penises in major [art] museums belong to the baby Jesus." -The Guerrilla Girls

204. "Well, Jesus Mitchell Abe!" -Brenna

205. Ivy: Ari, would you get me some grub? Ari: We don't have any. Would you settle for a mealworm?

206. "We're not that inbred." -Ariana

207. "I dance like a woman... if she were a man." -Space Ghost

Liz: You pig udder! Brenna: Pigs don't have udders. They have boobs, like cats.

208. Ari: Which do you hate more, clowns or mimes? Ivy: Hmmm....

209. "Maybe I'll let myself go and get real fat, and then I'll have boobies to play with too." -Erik

210. "When I went to day camp, we'd spend all day looking for things owls threw up." -Michael Feldman

211. "It smells like babies down here." -Brenna

212. Brenna: You should chew your food first. Ariana: Before doing what? Brenna: Putting it in your mouth.

213. "You gotta keep your eye on the donut, and not on the hole." -Harvey Keitel

214. "I laugh like a lady." -Brenna

Issue 7

215. Ari: Let's get a coloring book of Tarzan! Brenna: You just want to color his loincloth!

216. "I was like the softest bath toy you could ever want." -Brenna

217. "How many pounds of food do you think you've wasted in your life, including puke?" -Brenna

218. "I'll thank myself for doing this when I'm older." -Ivy

219. "I was talking to myself, so butt out." -Brenna

220. "I wish there were some corners on this stupid circle." -Ivy

221. "Is teen angst getting you down, Liz?" -Brenna

222. "A pickle a day keeps the babies away." -Brenna

223. "Just because I'm a vegetarian doesn't mean I have to eat vegetables." - Ariana

224. "I ate my salad. I should get a medal." - Ariana

225. I'm in shock that somebody would not be nice." - Nick

226. "Floss is awfully expensive for something people don't use." - Customer at Byerly's

227. "It's your parents' fault.  They toilet-trained you too early." -Margaret

228. "Well, I'm 22 and she's 23, but apparently that doesn't matter, because when you add us together, we're 5." -Michelle

229. "My name is Mr. Toilet.  Clean me and I won't tell anyone what I saw." - written on a bathroom wall

230. "I hate my school picture!  I look like a monster!" -Ivy

231. Ari: You're a funny specimen, Liz.

Liz: Thanks!

232. "Damn it, my butt is tight!" -Ivy

233. "They played a waltz.  But it wasn't a pretty waltz.  It was a stupid waltz." -Old people at Byerly's, discussing a concert

234. Erik: What's her problem?

Ari: She's a bitch!

Erik: A common ailment.

235. "If you can lasso me with your pants, then you'll be a good stripper." -Ivy

236. "You'd make kind of a horseshit Catholic." -My dad, to my mom

237. "I would never french-kiss your cat -- even if she begged me." -Brenna

238. Ari: Wake up and smell the bacon!

Ivy: Yum!

239. "We need a dumbwaiter that would deliver Cadbury eggs." -Ivy

240. "I like your menu better than mine." -Erik

241. "Wanna hear a really gross simile?" - Ivy

242. "Guess what I'm dissecting on Monday?" -Ivy

243. "Frosting... mmm. Mike naked... mmm." -Katie

244. "It's better to stumble home drunk than to stumble home dead." - Akasha

245. "Don't you know there ain't no devil? That's just God when he's drunk." - Tom Waits

246. "My pumpkin's ugly and warty and that's why I like it." - Brenna

247. "I'm bitter... I'm like eating straight baking soda right now.  I'm like sucking on an aspirin." -Brenna

248. "Well aren't you little miss "seize-the-day"!" -Ivy

249. " I wish I had a blow-hole so I could make whale sounds." -Ivy

250. "I'm Pippi Longstocking, but you can call me "Long" for short." - Brenna

251. "I'm caviar poop." -Ivy

252. Ari: So how's your Spanish class going?

Mom: Well... I'm the dunce.

253. "I hate drinking orange juice with pulp.  It's like drinking paper pulp... (thoughtfully)... although I do eat paper." -Ivy

254. "One weekend I trashed the house just doing homework." -Brenna

255. "This guy was nuts! He was letting everything suck his blood!" - Erik

256. Ivy: But if we paint the house brown, won't it be hotter?

Mom: It'll be browner.

257. "I wish I had a gap [in my teeth] like Tom Sawyer, so I could spit on people." -Liz

258. "He hates everyone! Why would he want to give his love and support?" -Liz

259. "I'd be a lot happier if I were just a little more gay." -Ariana

Issue 8

260. "I love how we don't think of making cookies as making cookies.  We think of it as a meal." -Ivy

261. "Never kiss a cat when you're wearing Chapstick." -Ivy

262. "Merrill and I were gargling last night, and I spit all over myself." -Ivy

263. To Ivy: "You've eaten nothing but refined sugar ever since Mom and Papa went out of town." - Ariana

264. "I hate to be such a stupid pain in the ass all the time,  but that's just the way I am." - Brenna

265. "Listen! Do you smell something?" -Ghostbusters

266. Ivy: My hair smells like...

Ari: Farts?

Ivy: Pert Plus.

Ari: Eww.

267. "Wanna come over and play solitaire with me?" -Ivy

268. "She needs to spend some quality time with her sister -- playing Nintendo and swearing at each other." -Ivy

269. " 'Calvin and Hobbes' is better than candy." -Ivy

270. "Like I was saying, Hannah, old people get abducted by aliens and then nobody believes them." -Kid at bus stop

271. "I like to walk down interesting cul-de-sacs in my conversations." - Conan O-Brien

272. "I can count on one hand the number of people who have heard me fart since I was five." - Ariana

273. Pedestrian #1 in NYC: If we get kidnapped, it's your fault.

Pedestrian #2: Fine.

Pedestrian #3: Who wants to kidnap five ugly kids anyway?

274. "I grew up on the smell of fresh lumber." -Laura

275. "If it doesn't get done, it doesn't get done -- that's what tomorrow's for." -John

276. "Jesus was a real thin guy." - Written in steam on a bus window

277. "Oops! I said the lord's name in a silly context." -Brenna

278. "You're the one who's in college, dumb-dumb." - Brenna

279. "They have a lot of money -- but they're nice people anyway." -Mom

280. "Believe you can, believe you can't, either way, you're right." -Henry Ford

281. "I've changed pants in the car while driving." - Michelle

Issue 9

282. "Have you been half asleep, and have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name." -Kermit the Frog, "Rainbow Connection"

283. "Life is hell, with prizes." -Janet Frame

284. "Don't bite a gift horse in the mouth." -Ivy

285. "I don't want to be around that little girl when she finds out dogs don't have really big bellybuttons." - passerby at a memorial (thanks, Akasha)

286. Phlox: There's not much you can say about a coconut pie, except... the texture reminds me of something I'm not going to say.

Corina: Is it squishy?

Phlox: Yeah.

-Sugar Needle Zine

287. "Just think of a french fry as an extension of your finger, except you can eat it." -Michelle

288. "If you listen closely, you can hear the air escaping from my head." - Brian

289. "I'm way more addicted to pajamas than I am to cheesecake." - Ariana

290. "They're party poopers of biblical proportions." - Laura

291. "Look, I got a new shirt.  Isn't it boring?" -Ivy

292. Ari: Do you have something I can read while you're taking your 45-minute shower?

Ivy: J. Crew catalog, Leaves of Grass, and The Inferno.

Ari: J. Crew catalog.

293. "I love my little bamboo plant.  I can feel my feng shui coming through already.  Well, maybe that's not my feng shui coming through.  I think my fly is open." -Michelle

294. "Mommy, if you don't come here right now, I'm not going to marry you." - little boy at Target

295. "We get all our carbohydrates from beer." - Papa

296. "I didn't like orgies.  I'm not good at multitasking." - Grace Slick

297. "How many necks can Ivy have?" - Ivy

298. "I swear, that kid is Canadian." - Student on bus

299. "All chocolate's good -- let's face it." -The Naked Chef

300. "One of these days I'm going to take you in back and tickle you to death." -Jan

Issue 11

301. "This is between you and your tail, Buster. Don't take it out on us." -Ariana

302. "That's exactly why I don't have a nine-to-five job -- because I like tube tops." -Ivy

303. "Speaking of stuff..." -Mom

304. "In dreams, we enter a world all our own.  Let him swim in the deepest ocean, and sail above the highest cloud." -Albus Dumbledore

305. "This camera is so self-involved." -Ivy

306. "What flies and hibernates?" - Ivy

307. "Everyone try to be solemn." - Brenna

308. "I'm putting my foot down... please?" - Erik

309. "Let's have a decent conversation now.  Enough of this chit-chat." - Brenna

310. "I love winter! So many fun things to do! Like... going south." - Byerly's customer

311. "If one more UV ray touches my skin, I'm going to burst into flame." - Brenna

312. "I keep thinking my nipples are woodticks." - Rachel

313. Ari: If you could be any animal, what would you be?

Ivy: Well, in third grade, I'd have said vampire bat.

314. "Mom and Papa are drinking me under the table." -Brenna

315. "You could drink raw beef if you just ate it right off the pig." -Ivy

Issue 12

316. "Dude, you're living in an illusion if you think that." - Brenna

317. Ari: Are you making any resolutions this year, Ivy?

Ivy: Yes.

Ari: What?

Ivy: Not to swear at work.

318. "Maybe I'll just die young, of a frosting overdose." -Ivy

319. "I'm a dilly-dallier on the path of life." - Ariana

320. "You smell kind of like a ski lodge." -Ivy

321. "It's so pretty... it's like an apple." - Akasha

322. "I don't mean to laugh at your misfortune, but sometimes it's funny." - Ariana

323. "I'm on a strict milk diet." - Ivy

324. Ken: Who made Rice Krispie Bars?

Ari: I did... from scratch.

325. Brenna: We're not staying, are we?

Ivy: No, I'm just going in, hiccupping and leaving.

326. "You'd make a good sit-down comedian." - Matt

327. "I wish my bunny friend's head was still on." -Brenna

328. "You always have to be able to make at least one person laugh. And if that person is yourself, so be it." -Ivy

329. "Maya, you have that 'new puppy' smell." - Erik

330. "Why do they have the audio and video files on separate disks? We're not living in the freakin' stone age." - Ariana

331. "Jean and I got matching sports bras to help me exercise." -Ivy

332. "The suckers at Chapstick are going to rue the day they got me addicted to their crappy product." - Guy on bus

333. "Maybe if your mouth weren't open all the time, you wouldn't get dish soap in it." - Ivy

334. "Did you lose weight in your head?" -Kelly

335. "It's got kind of an earthy, sluggy taste." -Ivy

336. "Those dogs don't have the right of way!" - Brenna

337. "Let's fly in the face of reason and drink milk anyway." - Ariana

338. "I started hearing this blank sound." - Brenna

339. Kelly: You made an albino sock monkey?

Heidi: Hey, I only have white socks!

340. "I'm going to knit a new hat.  The one I'm wearing now makes me look too much like a condom." -Claire, from Off-Line zine

341. Claire: There's breadsticks all over you!

Vincent: What?

Claire: Mmph. Breadsticks! It said so at the college.

- from Off-Line zine

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